What to do when visiting a Chapel of Rest

Visiting a Chapel of Rest is a solemn and emotional experience, allowing you to pay your final respects to a departed loved one. It’s essential to approach this moment with reverence, respect, and an understanding of the appropriate etiquette to ensure a dignified and meaningful farewell. But before you do, you must remind yourself of the type of behaviour that is allowed and what is seen as disrespectful. 

Etiquettes when visiting a Chapel of Rest

Typically, the atmosphere in the Chapel of Rest is less formal compared to a funeral service. The standard practice is to conduct yourself in a way that the family of the deceased would deem appropriate. However, there are some basic rules you should follow.

Noise: Maintain a respectful and solemn atmosphere by speaking in hushed tones and avoiding any loud or disruptive behaviour that could disturb others in mourning. This means that loud conversations, laughter, or noises should be avoided, as they can disrupt the tranquillity and reverence of the space.

Clothing: Dress modestly and appropriately, avoiding overly casual or revealing attire that may be perceived as disrespectful. As a general rule, always opt for subdued colours and conservative styles that reflect the solemnity of the occasion, which you can delve into further with our guide on what to wear to a funeral. Alternatively, the family of the deceased may ask you to wear a certain colour in memory of their loved one. 

Handling emotion: Visiting a chapel of rest can be an emotionally overwhelming experience. If you find yourself overcome with emotion, it is perfectly acceptable to step out briefly to compose yourself before returning. Do not feel obligated to suppress your grief, but try to manage it respectfully.  If you are with children, read our guide on how to console children about death to further support you during these moments.

Photography: Follow any specific instructions provided by the funeral home staff regarding photography. In general, it is advisable to refrain from taking photographs unless explicitly permitted by the family and the funeral home policies. Respect the privacy and dignity of the deceased and the mourners.

Touching: Respect the family’s wishes and the funeral home’s policies regarding touching or adjusting the deceased’s appearance. If the casket is closed, use this opportunity to pay your respects and offer condolences to the grieving family, even without a physical viewing of the deceased.

Will the coffin be open or closed?

Every family has their own preferences and traditions, so what feels appropriate for one may not resonate with another. The decision to have an open or closed coffin is entirely up to you and your loved ones. When you schedule an appointment to visit your departed family member, the funeral home will inquire about your preference – open or closed coffin. There is no need to provide an immediate answer; take your time to carefully consider your choice.

In certain circumstances, some places may recommend against an open-coffin viewing. This could be due to various reasons, such as if the cause of death has altered the person’s appearance significantly.  For example, visiting a Chapel of Rest 3 weeks after the death of your loved one may result in different regulations compared to if you visit a Chapel of Rest 1 or 2 weeks after their death.  Therefore, what happens to a body in the Chapel of Rest varies depending on the cause of death, so caution must be exercised and specific circumstances taken into account before visiting or requesting to view the body.

How long can I spend with my loved one?

There is no set time limit for how long you can spend in the Chapel of Rest, but it’s generally advisable to be mindful of others waiting to pay their respects. If there is a line or a large gathering, it’s considerate to allow others a turn after a reasonable amount of time, perhaps 10-15 minutes. However, if the chapel is less crowded, you may be able to stay longer, as needed, to say your goodbyes. The funeral home staff can guide you if there are any specific time constraints or scheduling considerations.

Religious washing and ablution 

When it comes to religious washing and ablutions in a Chapel of Rest, there are certain rules and protocols to be aware of. These rituals may involve washing, anointing, or dressing the body in specific garments that hold significant meaning for the deceased’s faith and community. It’s essential to respect any requests or restrictions regarding viewing or participating in these sacred rituals. 

If you are unfamiliar with the customs, we suggest that you speak with the funeral home staff or the religious leader overseeing the ceremonies. They can guide you on the appropriate etiquette and make sure that you do not inadvertently disrupt or disrespect these important traditions. 

Remember, this is a sacred time, and your actions should reflect the gravity and dignity of the occasion. So by following proper etiquette, respecting the family’s wishes, and maintaining a respectful demeanour, you can honour the memory of the deceased and find solace in this unique farewell.  To find the best memorial for your loved one, contact us today to start this journey.

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