A guide to being a pallbearer at a funeral

Pallbearers play a key role as part of the funeral service, with their primary duty consisting of carrying the casket or coffin during a funeral or burial. The pallbearers are typically made up of people who are close to the person that has passed, such as immediate family and friends. 

What is a pallbearer?

A pallbearer is a person responsible for carrying the coffin or casket from one point to the next during the funeral service. If the service uses a bier (a wheeled stand) then the pallbearers will walk alongside the coffin, guiding its path. The coffin is either carried at waist height, or can be shouldered. This is the traditional method in which the coffin is carried on the shoulders of the pallbearers. Alternatively, if you are physically unable to carry the coffin but still wish to be a pallbearer, you can walk alongside the coffin. There are traditionally six pallbearers (three either side of the casket), but there are enough handles on either side of the casket to accommodate eight. 

What to do if you’ve been asked to be a pallbearer

Funeral pallbearers play a key role throughout the service, so it’s important that you understand the steps involved.

Pallbearers responsibilities include; 

• Lifting the casket onto the platform in the hearse
• Lifting the casket out of the hearse and carrying it down the aisle (or placing it onto the bier to guide down the aisle) at the church or place of worship 
• Carrying the casket back to the hearse at the end of the service

Pallbearer responsibilities can vary depending on whether you are attending a burial or cremation. Below you will find more information on the key differences associated with both services. 

Cremation service

In a cremation service, pallbearers will lift the coffin and walk into the crematorium. If the cremation service is being held at a different location to the cremation itself, then pallbearers will carry the coffin back to the hearse to be transported along with the funeral procession. 

Burial funeral service

During a burial service, the pallbearers will also carry the coffin from the hearse to the platform at the burial site. If you’re unsure of which option would best suit you and your loved one, take a look at our guide to funeral rituals and burial ceremonies to find out more about the options available to you. 

Duties of a pallbearer

Funeral pallbearers are responsible for carrying the coffin or casket at different stages before, during and after the service. It is typically carried at waist height using handles on either side of the coffin, or shouldered (the traditional method in which the coffin is carried on the shoulders) by the pallbearers.

Carrying a coffin

As a pallbearer, you will be advised to keep the coffin close to you as you walk, with your back straight and your head up. You will follow the lead of the funeral director, and walk in step with the other pallbearers, traditionally taking a left step first. If you are asked to shoulder the coffin, the funeral director will instruct you and the other pallbearers on how to lift and lower the coffin in unison. 

The funeral service

During the funeral service, pallbearers will be instructed by the funeral directors to take a seat with the rest of the congregation. Remember, the funeral directors will be there throughout the day to reassure and guide you, so that you can focus on your role. 

Choosing not to be a pallbearer

Whether you feel you aren’t physically able to cope with the responsibilities or feel it is too emotionally overwhelming, you should be open and honest with the person who has asked you to be a pallbearer. As being a pallbearer is considered an honour, it is polite to thank them for the invitation to play such an important role, before explaining your reasonings for not wanting to undertake the pallbearer responsibilities. 

If at any point during the service you feel unable to continue, or change your mind, let the funeral director know; they will have someone ready to step in. 

Pallbearer etiquette

In addition to carrying the coffin, your pallbearer responsibilities will include following a number of etiquette rules. These include: 

• Wearing the right kind of clothes: Dressing in smart, black or muted tones is traditional. The person who is organising the funeral may have a non-traditional dress code (such as bright colours) as per a request of preference of the deceased. If you’re unsure of what to wear, ask whoever is organising the funeral. 
• Arrive early: Pallbearers are encouraged to arrive early to give you ample time to prepare and avoid holding up the service.
• Behave respectfully: Walk slowly and steadily when carrying the casket, avoiding speaking too loudly or laughing. Behave in a manner that denotes dignity and respect. 

It is normal to feel nervous about carrying a coffin. Remember that the funeral directors are on hand to offer help and advice throughout the process, so ask as many questions as you feel necessary. If you are organising a funeral, Memorials of Distinction can offer guidance on how to choose from a range of services, gravestones and memorials. Contact us to find out more about how we can support you.